nose pick

Dolls Dont Yell Chocolate Diarreah

When I was a little girl, playing with dolls, I never imagined being a real mom would be filled with sounds of kids screaming “chocolate diarrhea” in the supermarket. I never pretended to convince brothers, who a minute ago were best friends, not to suffocate each other with pillows, or console a stranger because my…

IMG_0089

Lies My Dad Told Me

Every little a girl grows up idolizing her dad.  I pretty much grew up embarrassed by mine.  My dad is loud, and wears very bright colors.  (In fact, in 1982 he owned a pair of bright yellow and a pair of bright red high top Reebok. Which,didn’t seem so bad when in ’86 he purchased…

mid life crisis

Mid Life Crisis

I am pretty sure I’m going to die when I’m 70.  I know this because in three weeks I will be 35, and I am having a mid-life crisis. I have the attention span of a two year old.  That not only goes for reading, watching movies and keeping friends, but I am starting to…

me and coop

Growing Up

Today is my son’s last day of Kindergarten.  It is bittersweet.  Nine months ago he couldn’t read, add, or tell me twenty random facts about China.  He didn’t know the “s-word” (stupid), or the “c-word” (Cooper).  He didn’t have twenty different words for penis or even know that movie nachos could be a lunch.  Yes,…

grad

Graduation Advice

Graduation time is here. In fact, the very first class of students I ever taught are graduating college this year. When I was their age, I was teaching them the important facts of fifth grade. The other day I got a sentimental post on Facebook from one of those students letting me know what a…

vomitting kid

My Worst Nightmare

My worst nightmare has occurred.  My son got sick and has decided to redecorate the upstairs hallway with last nights dinner, which was Shredded Wheat.  Strawberry Shredded Wheat.  I don’t know how to handle throw up. I don’t know how to act while my child is in the process of retching up his guts, how…

zumba

Zumba in the Dark

Today I took a Zumba class.  My friend persuaded me to go.  I am not one to go to classes, as I feel like everyone is staring at me. Actually I know they are. Because I am staring at all of them; and thinking very critical things. I wouldn’t mind if they stared if I…