Today is my son’s last day of Kindergarten. It is bittersweet. Nine months ago he couldn’t read, add, or tell me twenty random facts about China. He didn’t know the “s-word” (stupid), or the “c-word” (Cooper). He didn’t have twenty different words for penis or even know that movie nachos could be a lunch. Yes, my son has definitely learned a lot this year.
Where does the time go? Once an innocent little baby, my son is now a full-fledged for-real boy. Yesterday he buried he shoes in the sand at the park because he needed something to dig up. Turns out he buried the socks too, but we couldn’t find them. He has figured out that he can cause trouble without actually doing it by telling his brother to do the dirty work for him. He uses what he calls “mind control” and tells the poor two-year old to “sit”, “stand”, “throw toys in the potty”, and “dump water on the floor”. He thinks it’s hysterical. “Now you don’t need to get me a dog,” he says. I can’t fight with that.
When he was little, my son was a very “go with the flow” type kid. Now he is a “thinks out of the box to the tenth degree” type. He has figured out that everyone is afraid of vomiting. He can get out of doing things if people think he’s going to puke. I took him to the dentist a few weeks ago and as soon as she touched his lip he started gagging and coughing and saying “blech”…the appointment ended. His swim instructor wants him to dunk his head. He puts the tip of his nose in and coughs gags and “blechs” until the lifeguard blows a whistle and screams “get him out of the pool.” I tell everyone he’s faking. They don’t want to risk it.
This child also sets up giant scenes of toys and tells me he can’t take them down because he’s making a movie. He can’t clean up before the movie is over because the sets won’t look the same. Spiderman 5 has been on a hot set in my toy room for a month now, I wondering when they are going to wrap. (He told me he is waiting for a new toy to finish the movie. Nice movie, little one.)
When we punish him he says, “Don’t you still love me? I can tell by your face that you love my brother more.” (Talk about guilt!)
Yesterday he hid cookies in the bathroom so he could eat more than I gave him. He ties his superheroes in the blinds so that they can be saved, and now my blinds are ruined. The “booger wall” next to his bed needs a Hazmat team to remove the dried crustations he’s wiped on it before I can repaint, let alone sell the house.
Yes, he is all boy. But luckily with that comes his uncanny sweetness. “I love you the most Mommy,” he says. “Don’t tell daddy I said that. It will hurt his feelings, I tell him I love him the most too, but it’s really you I love the most.” Every day in his writing journal he writes about his brother. “My brother is my best friend. I love him.” He tells me to sit and snuggle him because “I need to relax sometimes too”.
Sometimes I feel so out of control. Like time is going so fast. Like, I’m not enjoying every second of his childhood. But it is so hard. I’m trying to teach him to be a good person and not be super critical at the same time. I realize that when I sent him off to school he has this whole other life I will never know about. Full of kids teaching him gross things and bad words. Full of happy events and firsts that I’ll never see or hear about. I think this is why I enjoy my child not being perfect. I love that he is funny and loud and creative. I love that even though he went to school this year, he is still not afraid to be who he really is deep down. He doesn’t care if no one else likes the toys he likes, or still watches Diego or sees him sliding down the steps instead of walking because “he’s less likely to fall”.
Yes, what a year it has been. We both grew up a little more and learned a lot. I am looking forward to watch my son grow up, and being surprised by how he understands life so different then I did. I just hope it doesn’t go too quick.